Fang's Worst Fear
by ditchedbyruby
Summary: What happens when Edward Cullen discovers Fang's new fear? How mean will Max and Edward get? Had to repost because of confusion. Look at my profile for my OC's. This is VERY OOC. I don't own Maximum Ride or Twilight Rated T just in case
1. Thank You, Edward!

The flock, the Cullen's, Ruby, and Kimmy were all gathered around the television. Tonight, they decided that they would watch a movie altogether, just for fun.

When Carlisle had asked what movie, Kimmy and India looked at eachother, smiled, and looked back at the doctor; "The Dark Knight!" They both shouted in unison.

Everyone had agreed to that, well mostly everyone; Fang just shrugged. Iggy brought out some popcorn for everyone but the vampires, while Esme reminded the younger ones that if they made a mess, they were to clean it up. She got several 'yeah' s and 'uh-huh' s and rolled her eyes, but she smiled after; having a full house was tiring, but she loved it, it almost seemed as if she had kids of her own.

Max's POV

I watched the movie begin, eagerly waiting. I had heard of the movie, and seen the previews and it looked freakin' awesome. I clutched my popcorn bowl tighter. I glanced at Fang, who was seated behind Rosalie and Emmett; he was paying attention to Rosalie. Idiot.

The movie went along with the flock usually shouting out a comment every now and then, actually, they were usually from Ruby, Kimmy, and I…

I glanced at Fang every now and then, one of the only people noticing the weird squeal noises that were coming from his direction. But every time I looked at him, he was look at me confusedly, so I shook my head and directed my attention back to the movie.

When the movie was over I gasped at the damage down to the Cullen's living room carpet: It was covered in popcorn.

"Okay, you guys." I said, replacing the movie-loving-max cap with max-is-the-leader cap. "Go grab the vacuum and start cleaning." There were various groans, but I ignored them. I looked over to Esme who looked grateful she didn't have to order the kids to do anything. I smiled at her and walked over to Fang.

"Hey," I said, standing by his side.

He gave me a small nod to let me know he heard me.

"What were all those squealing noises coming from you direction?" I asked, feeling a little stupid.

"What?" He asked, making me feel as confused as ever.

"Uh – I – Never mind." I said and walked away. I went up the stairs and into my bedroom (the Cullens actually have _a lot_ of spare bedrooms).

I plopped on my bed and closed my eyes, just relaxing when I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Come in!" I yelled, so the person outside the door could hear.

"You know, there's no real need to shout." Said Edward, gracefully walking in and sitting down on the small couch.

"What do you want?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. If it was Edward, talking to me, it wasn't usually good.

"Just a small prank, that came to mind," He said, playing with his hands.

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yes," he said looking at me, and then began to smile in a mischievous manor, which scared me, "Involving a certain dark-haired, winged adolescent, to be exact." He said. "I was curious to know if you'd be interested."

"That depends." I said. It really did, I didn't want to hurt Fang too badly, he was my right-hand man. But on the other wing, he'd done some pretty bad things to Max in the past; maybe a little revenge would be beneficial.

"Well," Edward said, leaning towards me. "What if I told you, I knew his most recently developed worst fear?"


	2. The Limits

Edward and I decided to let Kimmy and Ruby in on the joke. They said they already knew which kind of scared me, but oh well.

We were all gathered in my room on day, planning what to do.

"Alright, so what first?" Ruby began, looking uber-excited.

"Well, we should test his limits, see how scared he _really_ is." Kimmy said nodding her slowly.

"Okay then," Said Ruby, turning to Edward. "Edward, how far are the limits?" She asked his expectantly. He rolled his eyes.

"You can't seriously expect me to just _know_, can you?" He asked, shaking his head. Ruby just kept on staring at him. He sighed, "I can only get so much out of his head, you'd think since he doesn't say much he would have a busy brain, but it's quite collected and calm, and controlled, he has too much experience with mind readers."

"Oh." Ruby said, and then began playing with her thumbs.

"Okay," I said, looking back at Kimmy. "You're saying we should see how un-Fangish he can get?"

Kimmy nodded, I could see the gears in her mind working.

"Okay so, how do we do that?"

She looked at me and smiled, the all too infamous smile of Kimmy-Kins, the evil mastermind.

Our plan was in action; Me, Ruby, Kimmy, and Fang were all playing cards. We usually did play cards together a lot because we were some of the few who didn't have powers that you could use to cheat.

But today, we decided to play a simple game of go fish. Well, that's what it seemed to Fang anyway…

"Have any two's?" I mumbled to Fang.

"No." He said.

"Hey," I protested, "You're supposed to say go fish."

He gave me a look that said 'I don't give a crap' but he gave in anyway. "Go fish."

"Good boy." I said and patted his head. He just rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Fang it's your turn." Ruby said, impatient. I gave her a look, but it was wasted on her, she was intensified in a game that even she knew was fake.

"Kimmy, you have any Kings?" Fang asked. I watched as Kimmy looked at her seven cards but then acted as if something abnormal appeared in her cards.

"Oh," She said taking out a card. "There was a joker in this, those things are sneaky." She said, with mock humor.

I watched in surprised amusement as Fang's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" He squealed and hopped up from his seat. He put his hands on his face and dashed out of the room. "The Joker!!! The Joker!!! He's after me! Someone help! Please!" He shouted and shouted till we couldn't hear him any more.

We looked down the hall where Fang had run, then we looked at eachother and burst out laughing.


	3. The Plan

"Okay, so what's next?" I asked. We were once more sitting in a circle in my room, preparing for our next prank on Fang.

We previously discovered that Fang was _really_ scared of The Joker. Why? I really had no idea whatsoever. It kind of made me concerned for Fang, you know, considering the fact that when he decides to stop being all cool, mysterious, and quiet is whenever he spots anything having to do with The Joker…

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Ruby exclaimed, "We should dress up Jasper as The Joker! Not that he'll be able to pull it off as well as Heath Ledger…"

"I heard that!" Jasper shouted from down stairs, but there was a soft chuckle after that. Ruby rolled her eyes.

"Yeah blow our cover will ya' Mr. Emo." She muttered, shaking her head.

"I heard that, as well," Said Jasper. He had abruptly appeared in the doorway. "I would prefer you didn't put me in the line of wanna-be Fang's."

At that I laughed softly. Ruby and Kimmy laughed freely, and Edward just snickered. Jasper smirked and continued.

"I _am_ fairly curious to know what you devious children are up to now, considering the fact that when I am not aware, you tie me into it without my permission." He stated, looking at each villainous child (I guess you could exclude Edward, but from _my_ personal point of view he is an immature, stupid, child with no – okay, I'll stop now) with a death glare (haha literally!!!).

Ruby seemed to be serious about her previous suggestion; "Would you mind putting on make-up?" She asked, tilting her head to the said innocently.

"No." He said, then spun on his heel and was walking towards the door when Ruby hit his weak point.

"But, Jasper, look at me." She said.

"No. No, no, no, no, no." He said. "I am _not_ turning around and I'm _not_ going, to…" But of course he turned around, and began to melt at the sight of Ruby with widened eyes, her lower lip trembling. She even sniffed. I rolled my eyes and put my head on one of my hands. Well _that_ made things easier.

"Oh, fine." Jasper grumbled, causing Ruby to grin like a maniac. He smiled slightly and gave her a hug. Sucker. 

**"**So, what am I supposed to do?" Jasper asked, and I could tell that he was going to regret his decision immediately. I smirked; yup, he was definitely an idiot.

"Well, we discovered Fang's worst fear, and we need your help pranking him." Ruby said, looking up at Jasper happily. He looked genuinely confused.

"And you need me _why?_"

"Because Fang's new fear is the Joker, and we need you to dress up as him to scare him." She seemed completely unaware of her own unintelligence.

"But why do you need me? Why not just use Edward?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

India look flabbergasted, she didn't even think of that, I could tell. She came up with an excuse: "You already have some scars?" she said sheepishly. My eyes widened, was Jasper okay with the reference toward his violent past?

Thankfully he only chuckled and ruffled her hair. "Good enough reason for me."

"Okay," I sighed getting back onto the subject "So we're going with the average 'dress up as villain character to scare random child ' except it's with Fang?" I verified.

I got various nods of agreement.

"Let the games begin." I said. I began to smile like a _real_ villain.


	4. Creepy Alice

We decided our plan was to go into action at night, when everyone was asleep. I did feel kind of bad… If a simple card scared the living crud out of Fang, how much would this?

Edward heard my thoughts and looked at me like I was an idiot, even though he thought I was…

"Just think about that time when he called you 'blonde chick'." He said, and that hit a nerve; not towards Edward, but towards Fang. He once called me a 'Blonde Chick', and I never got a proper revenge.

It wasn't night yet, but it was close. Everyone was still up, doing different things. Angel, Nudge, and Total were up watching Hannah Montana, with Alice just sitting and talking with Nudge.

Gazzy and Iggy were eating something Esme made, she was practicing cooking considering how many people she had to feed. Rosalie and Emmett were doing who knows what (Oh gosh…), and Carlisle was in his study. And Fang was just making his way back down stairs after his shower. His hair was a little wet, but he was fully dressed in a black T-shirt, and black sweat pants. He sat on one of the stools next to Gazzy and Iggy.

Everyone who was involved in the private joke – Edward, Ruby, Kimmy, Jasper, and I – was lounging in the couches, next to Edward's piano. Well, at least it _looked_ like we were lounging…

"Okay," I began, "There isn't much to review, but review we shall: We sneak into Fang's room and hide a video camera, then Jasper comes in and wakes Fang up, Fang nearly pee's his pants and his reaction from there is unknown, thus we have a camera. Right?"

"Correct." Kimmy verified, but then she thought for a second, and said "But, you know he's, well, basically _trained_ to wake up at the sound of a twig snapping… Wouldn't we need to drug him or something?"

"Well, we could just send up a vampire to put the camera there," Ruby suggested "There uber-quiet."

"But he's lived with vampires awhile too; I don't think we should risk it." Kimmy said, shaking her head. I agreed.

"Okay, so let's go with the first suggestion: WE DRUG HIM!" Ruby exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. She ended up getting a weird look from Esme, who peeked out of the kitchen, she saw it was Ruby who shouted and just shook her head and smiled.

"Alright, Jasper and I will go to the drugstore and grab some Nightal, we should be back soon." Edward said standing, Jasper as well.

"OOOO!!! I wanna' go with you!" Ruby exclaimed hopping up. Edward rolled his eyes, but Jasper looked under pressure. When Ruby noticed that Edward was most likely going to say no, she looked at Jasper and pouted. I repeat; sucker.

Jasper looked like in was in major pain, but it seemed to coax Ruby on; she pouted and pouted.

"No." Edward said, at the same exact time Jasper said, "Okay." Edward looked at Jasper incredulously.

"Are you insane?" Edward asked, seeming completely serious about the question.

"There isn't proof _yet_." Jasper said smiling when he saw that Ruby was happy.

Ruby hopped on Jasper's back and shouted: "Mush!" And Jasper played along. He ran out the front door with Ruby on his back, shouting random things such as: "The British are coming, the British are coming!" or "The Ice Age!"

I officially decided that whenever I needed something from Jasper, I would use Ruby to get to him.

"Alright," Kimmy began, trying to suppress the weird occurance that just happened. "So you think Alice will be willing to help us? I mean, how are we gonna do his make-up?" I nodded in understanding.

"Yeah, we should go ask her." I said, already walking toward in the direction of the 'Fatal Zone'.

If you're curious to know what the 'Fatal Zone' is, then listen: I hate Hannah Montana, with a passion. That should explain it all.

I tried to ignore the cheesy jokes that came from the TV. I cringed when I heard "Yeeee Doggies!" but moved on.

"Hey Alice, can I talk to you?"

She looked up at me, smiled, and then nodded. We walked out of the room, Kimmy randomly appearing out of nowhere. That did in fact scare me.

Right when I was about to tell Alice our plan, her eyes became cloudy and she looked distant. I waited until the vision was over, then put my hands on her shoulders to make sure she was okay; sometimes the visions were so intense she fell over after.

She looked at me and giggled. "Fang's afraid of The Joker?" She asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Do you know what we need from you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh yeah!" She said, punching the air. "I _finally_ get to put make-up on Jasper!"

"Finally?" Kimmy asked.

She smirked and flitted off. Creepy.

I turned to Kimmy and sighed. "Now, we wait for the idiots." She nodded then stopped.

"But aren't we idiots too?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"You are." I confirmed, then walked away.


	5. The Drugstore

**(A/N) It's the sixth chappie! (Still loving that word) it's just Jasper, Edward, and Ruby going to the drugstore, which is more fun than you think, trust me. **

**Disclaimer: I will bluntly admit to it this time, before Edward threatens my iPod again; I do not own anything you recognize. *sniff* (No, seriously, I have a cold, and a cough)**

**Please enjoy!!! XD**

"Oh!" Exclaimed Ruby, for the millionth time. It was beginning to get on Edward's nerves. "Its star bucks!"

"Ruby, you don't need coffee, in fact I'd feel safer if you didn't _ever_ have coffee." Jasper said. Edward just nodded in agreement.

"Well, I don't really like coffee _that_ much, only when it's mixed in with other sugary stuff! Oh! Like their white chocolate mocha! I had one once, it was yummylicous!"

"Yummylicous?" Edward repeated; this girl was crazy. They were on their way to the drugstore, and Ruby was being herself by distracting herself every time she saw something.

"Yup!" She proudly cooed.

"I don't believe that's in the English language." Edward stated.

"Well, it is now."

They had arrived at their destination, and were getting out of their seats. Edward felt the warm feeling of someone's hand in his; he looked down to see Ruby looking straight ahead, grinning. She had her other hand clasped tightly around Jasper's. They looked like a cute little family. Except, with two guys as parents… Oh, jeez.

"Ruby?"

"Yeah, Edward?"

"Aren't you twelve? A little old for this?" He asked, chuckling.

She just looked at him and grinned wider. "You're never too old, Edward. Never too old."

They walked into the store, and grabbed the nightal, purchased it, and got back in the car.

But trust me; it's not as easy as you think…: Ruby kept on looking at random stuff and shouting random things like "Oh My Fangin' Emo! It's a snowball! Ew, those things are gross, there like marshmallow, with like gross pink stuff on the outside, it's DEEEE-sgusting." Or "Oh my Fangin' Emmett! It's a Hershey's cookies and crème bar! I _love_ those, there" at this she nudges Jasper's arm "YUMMYLICOUS!" and then throws her arms into the air. She even once said "Oh My Fangin' Edward!" The vampire boys turned and looked at her expectantly, she just giggled and pointed at them; "You guys are cute."

Edward and Jasper snickered and took her hands again. They drove home with Ruby acting the same way.

**(A/N) Heh heh, I couldn't resist. Hope you enjoyed. (Oh, and by the way, this is actually how I act in public; my friends are embarrassed of me! Well, **_**one**_** anyway…) Oh and yes, they **_**do**_** have those junk foods at drugstores! The ones **_**I**_** go to anyway… *giggle* **


	6. High Off Drugs

Jasper, Edward, and Ruby came home the way they went out. Ruby was on Jasper's back yelling "Mush!" But this time he looked a bit worn out. Yeah, I know a vampire? Worn out? Nooo…

"Alright, you guys, the younger ones are already asleep… What were you guys doing anyway? A little trip to the drugstore wouldn't have taken so long." I commented. They all looked at eachother, then back at me.

"The human was hungry." Was all Edward said. I looked at Jasper; he shrugged. I rolled my eyes. Ruby smiled angelically. I turned around to look at Kimmy-Kins. She was pouting at Edward. He shrugged sheepishly; she was jealous, and out for revenge.

"Emmett!" She shouted and stalked to his and Rosalie's bedroom. I chuckled.

"Um, okay, moving on." I said. "The only ones left awake are Iggy, and Fang, and the vampires of course. But I _did_ have a question…" I looked at Edward, he looked back expectantly. "How are we going to get him to take it? You know, the nightal?" I asked. All he did was smile.

"Were vampires, a bird-kid, and two masterminds, and you doubt us?" He questioned. Well when he put it like that…

"Okay just don't tell me what you're going to do, cause' I don't think I want to know." I said, and walked away.

I almost ran into Emmett being dragged by Kimmy.

"Wait, what are we doing?" Emmett asked.

"Can it, bulky." She said. Emmett was silent. I laughed when they were out the door.

"Wait, don't we need her?" I asked. Alice danced in just then.

"Don't worry she'll be back in time." We all kind of hung out till I got news of Iggy's going to bed, and soon I was informed that Fang was nicely drugged.

But there was something I _didn't_ know about us bird-kids… Sure, we can sleep like a rock, but it definitely made you loopy, high, crazy… We discovered these facts that night. I shudder.

We were waiting for the drugs to take their affect, so I was just alone in my room, listening to music, when Fang sauntered in; he looked dizzy. I hopped up and helped him then he surprised me.

"Golly, Max, your sure are purty." He said, smirking. I frowned. How much did they give him?

"Well, now we know I sound weird with a southern accent. Let's try British!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. I took a step back.

"You know, Max, something else I hadn't noticed about you would be how much you've _grown_." He said, continuing with the accent. "I mean, seriously what size bra do you wear?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

I went beat red.

"EDWARD!!!"

He dashed into the room within a moment. "What, what is it?" He asked.

"How much did you give him?" I asked with a menacing voice, my teeth clenched.

"Um, the whole, bottle?" He said sheepishly. I turned on him, walked until I was right under his nose.

"You wanna run that by me again?" I asked.

He cringed at that, but then he was gone. I growled and turned back to Fang. He was laying on my bed, hands behind his head, looking comfortable. On _my_ bed. I was beginning to get aggravated.

"Okay Fang we gotta – Woah!" I exclaimed when he pulled me onto the bed next him. I just looked at him, like he was crazy. Okay, so he _was_ crazy…

"Wow Max, you have really pretty eyes." He said looking at them like they held the secret to the world **(A/N haha they kind do…)**.

"Um, thank you." I mumbled. Even though he was high off of drugs, it was kind of weird having him tell me that.

"Your so very welcome." He smiled and looked at the ceiling, "Oh! Look! A butterfly." He said, pointing to the ceiling. I shook my head; Oh jeezums…

"It's still not as beautiful as you!" He cooed. I cringed.

"Okay, Fang, I think it's time for you to go to bed." I said hopping off the bed and helping him up.

"Oh, wait Max, I wanna do something before I go to sleep." He said happily. My back was to him, but not for long.

He grabbed my waist making me squeal (Later that night: Me? Squealing? Noooo…), then he turned me around and kissed me.

I was shocked. Since I didn't expect him to actually remember any of this, I did something I thought I'd never do: I kissed back.

My arms happily encircled themselves around his neck. Right when things felt, I don't know, _right_, he fell asleep in my arms. He fell asleep _standing up._

His lips slid from mine and he fell on my shoulder.

"Idiot." I muttered and helped him back to his own bed. He happily fell asleep.

Now, for the fun, I thought.


	7. The Prank

"Okay, Edward. Go… now!" I whispered, as he quietly drifted into Fang's room, set up a small video camera in an unnoticeable place, and drifted back out. I smiled, it was just too easy.

"You guys ready?" I whispered. Everyone nodded. "Que, Jasper." I whispered. I had to restrain myself from jumping Jasper; he looked _exactly_ like The Joker, thinking it was Heath Ledger, I had to stop myself from attacking him with hugs shouting: "You're alive!".

Jasper snuck into Fang's room, signaling us to not peek around the corner; if we did, we'd be spotted by Fang.

"The Jok—" Fang began to shout, but I guess Jasper had put a hand over his mouth.

"Why. So. _Serious?_" Jasper asked, pulling the infamous Joker quote. I put a hand over my mouth so I didn't burst out laughing then and there.

"AHHHHH!!!!!" We then saw a tall dark figure dash out of the room, arms flailing out up in the air. Thankfully he went the other direction then us, running down the hallway. I hoped he didn't wake the kids up. We all then went to our bedrooms quickly, just in case he came back.

I quickly hopped into my bed and pretended to be asleep. I eventually heard the door open abruptly.

"MAX! MAX!" I heard Fang's yell. I once more tried very hard not to laugh. I played the part of 'Max just waking up to a scared Fang'.

"Fang? What are you doing in here?" I asked, pretending to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"I – He—Serious – Scary—DA JOKER!" He stuttered. I held back hysterics once more.

He then jumped onto my bed and wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled next to me.

"Make him go away!" He screamed, squeezing his eyes shut. I stared down at him in shock. Okay, that was unexpected.

"Um, it's okay Fang, you'll be fine." I mumbled patting his back lightly. I then yawned, not noticing how tired I was. I just fell onto the pillows and closed my eyes…

**Next morning**

My eyes slowly fluttered open; and I came face to face with something, no, some_one_.

My eyes widened at the realization.

Fang.

Was sleeping.

Right next to me.

Weird.

I was about to wake him up when I noticed he was talking…

"Max, no, we gotta' stop." He mumbled. Seeming to push my body away from his. "We don't want the younger ones seeing something like this – Oh, no keep on going, I like that." He mumbled, pulling my figure closer again, a smile playing on his lips. He then began to kiss my neck, _in his sleep_.

That.

Little.

"FANG!" I shouted in his ear.

He jerked awake, then noticed his position. He brought his face back to mine. Then grinned sheepishly.

"Why, hello there, Max." He said happily. "Crazy night last night, huh?"

I turned fifty different shades of rade.

"You PERVERT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. He jumped out the bed, and ran out the door. I followed, pillow in hand.

"The mighty Maximum Ride is after me! Help!" He screamed, but he was laughing, taunting me. I growled.

"You're dead Emo boy!' I screeched. He laughed harder. I finally caught up to him and tackled him, our weight together propelled us down the stairs.

"Ow, ouch, you Mother – OUCH!"

We finally made it down all the stairs, landing at the bottom. He was _still laughing_. I growled again, menacingly.

Right before I could start yelling, I heard a clearing of someone's throat. I looked up to see Edward, looking down at us; arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

Then I noticed the way Fang and I were entangled in eachother. His arms and legs were entwined with mine. My face inches from his.

"Yes Edward?" Fang said, not looking away from me.

"If you two lovebirds are done, -- with whatever events I would prefer you end this instant – Breakfast is done." He said, and walked away. I looked back at Fang.

"Get. Off. Of. Me. _Now_." I spat through clenched teeth. He laughed again.

"What if I don't want to?" He said, almost in a mischievous tone. His arms were currently around my waist, he pulled my closer to his body. I gasped.

"Why I oughtta –" I began. I twisted my body around and attempted to get out of his grasp. But I couldn't he was stronger than I thought. He brought both of us up off the floor, me still squirming in his grasp, my back to him. He chuckled.

He brought us in the kitchen, getting us weird looks from everyone.

"We have an unwilling subject." He stated, grinning like an idiot as I grabbed onto the doorframe, willing myself to hold on with all my might. But of course he got me off. A growl erupted from my throat. I twisted to give him another death glare. He grinned wider.

He plopped me down on a stool, and pointed his finger in my face. "Sit." He ordered. I bit his finger.

"Ow!" he muttered, I smiled.

"Stay." He ordered, when I didn't move he patted my head, "Good girl." He said.

"It's not like I wasn't willing to _eat_." I muttered under my breath.


	8. Oh, The Violence!

We ate breakfast, well of course, not _all_ of us (Uh, hello? We have vampires in the house, and one idiotic one in particular…) and we decided to have another meeting.

"Alright, so I have the video right here? Shall we watch?" Edward asked, flashing a crooked smile that… Oh gosh, _not_ falling in love with the idiot. Edward shot me a glance and raised an eyebrow. I shuddered. Speaking of idiots…

"Where's your girlfriend? Betty, Becca –" I began.

"_Bella_." Edward spat, shooting daggers at me.

"Well, it's all the same. I mean if she wants to marry _you_, then I guess –"

"Did you just call her an _idiot?_" Edward asked, giving a whole new meaning to 'If looks could kill'…

"I didn't _say_ anything –"

"You were _thinking_ it." His eyes widened, showing he was officially ready to murder me.

I jumped from my seat, and dashed for the door. Then I was suddenly on the ground, a certain enraged vampire straddling me, punching my gut.

"Wow – OUCH! You surely weigh – OOF! A freakin' ton!" I gasped.

Just then Fang walked into the room. "Wow, I didn't know you guys felt that way for eachother, I mean, wow, that surely is a position." Fang said, with mock astonishment. Both Edward and I stared at him in shock. We looked at eachother, then jumped Fang.

We attacked him with punches, kicks, anything violent movement you can think of. He was laughing the whole time.

"You guys would definetly make a _great_ couple – OOF! I mean seriously, it might be easier on the honeymoon considering your _both_ freaks I – Oh GOSH!" Edward grabbed the front of his shirt and hoisted him on the wall, then I pulled the mother of all pains.

"Here's to you, Emo boy!" I shouted, and then groin kicked him. Yes, I really did, which shocked him, which made it even more painful for him, which made me happy.

He fell on the floor in a crumpled heap, clutching his crotch in pain.

"Oh, oh oh oh, oh jeez…" He muttered, rolling around on the floor. I smiled with content. I slapped a hard high-five with Edward. We were about to continue planning, but considering the fact that our subject was currently in the room, we decided to act normal.

"Ed, turn on the TV." I ordered, he rolled his and scoffed.

"You automatically suspect that I will comply?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, you _will_, or else, bye bye Bella." I said, he narrowed his eyes.

"Like you could possibly get to her." He said.

"Where is she anyway?" I asked, he scoffed once again.

"Like I'm going to tell _you_."

"She's visiting her mother for a bit." Jasper said, eyes on the TV. Ed glared.

"My name is Ed_ward_." Edward, said, reading my thoughts.

"Does, it really look like I give a crap?" I asked.

"Well you should, considering I could just –"

"If you children aren't quiet within three seconds, I'm kicking you out!" We heard Carlisle shout from upstairs.

"Sorry!" We yelled in unison.

We really do have issues…


	9. Yee Doggies!

**(A/N) Here's da next chappie!!! And uh, don't expect any of the characters to act **_**in**_** character if I wrote the fanfiction (it has to be a funny one though…) Anyway, please enjoy!!!**

"Ed –"

"Ed_ward_." Edward corrected me. I let out a breath of air sharply.

"Ed_ward_, did you get more drugs?" I asked, giving him a look.

"Yes." He said.

I walked over and patted the top of his head. "_Good boy!_" I said in mock enthusiasm. I scratched under his chin as if he were a dog. "You so cute! You so cute!" He rolled his eyes and his jaw jutted out in a pose of annoyance.

"You guys are _seriously_ freaking me out lately." Said a voice. I turned to see Fang with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken in one arm, and a drumstick in his other hand that was currently being munched on.

"You want kids?" I asked him. He immediately dashed out of the room with widened eyes.

"Okay, we got everything set up I think…" I began, then pursed my lips. "How do you think Kimmy and Ruby got Fang on the drugs?" I looked up at Edward. He frowned and then shrugged. I sighed. "Oh well."

That night…

"Angel! Come down here! Hannah Montana's on!" Nudge shouted practically in my ear. I whimpered. "Oh sorry, Max. I just can't help it! I mean seriously when Hannah Montana come I – Mmff shh!" Emmett had grabbed the remote control from Nudge's hand and put his palm over her mouth.

He was happily changing the channel then he flinched slightly.

"Nudge, did you just bite me?" He asked. Nudge hung her head and nodded. Emmett chuckled. "No use on a vampire, you should know that by now."

Angel then dashed into the room happily. She looked disappointed when she saw that Miley Cyrus wasn't on the screen. "Hey! Emmett, that's not nice." She crawled onto his lap, and pulled the worst of the worst.

"No, no no nononononono," Emmett was trying not o look at Angel and her bambi eyes; they were killers. Angel continued to pout until Emmett finally gave in.

"Yay!" Angel shouted then Nudge joined in soon after Emmett removed his hand from her mouth.

I sighed. Then groaned. Then laid my head back on the couch to have dark eyes looking down on me.

"You know you don't have to watch with them, right?" Asked Fang. I shook my head.

After enduring two hours of Hannah Montana and hearing random groans from the kitchen (Iggy didn't even like _listening_ to "Yee Doggies!") Nudge and Angel began yawning.

"Okay, guys, time for bed!" I clapped my hands to wake them up a bit. They both moaned but eventually complied. I tucked them both in.

_Where's Gazzy and Total?_ I thought to myself. But a loud "BANG!" was then heard from the direction of Carlisle's office. I ran there as fast as possible.

None the less, there was Gazzy looking shocked in front of some kind of bomb that was now ashes. Total was next to him, and Carlisle was there too…

I was preparing myself to yell at them, but then I was beat to it, but not by yelling…

Carlisle starting laughing a booming laugh. Gazzy nervously joined in, and then Total too. I looked behind me to see the whole household standing behind me, looking as confused as I was. Except for Iggy who was laughing with the maniacs.

I shook my head and went into Max mode.

"Gaz, it's your bed time, bust a move, bud." I said. He also was reluctant, but he was eventually clean, and in bed. Total went into Angel's room to spend the night, and Iggy was working on some new recipe, so I got the feeling he was staying up late tonight… just like the rest of us! Cue evil laugh… NOW!


	10. TThhee DDoouubbllee AAggeennttss

**(A/N) Yeah… Didn't know what OOC was… Have an idea now… Heh heh… Yeah… All the other characters are still here… I just forget to put em' in… I once more laugh nervously… cue 'heh heh's… Yeah… I apologize for any confusion… Me being me makes me a confused and discombobulated person… and my Aunt just died today… which kinda sucks… sooo… how's everyone doin? *nervous smile* Oh, and Ruby and Kimmy are people I putty in. Look at me profile to understand better. I once more apologize. **

**Disclaimer: I no ownie anything thou recognizes. O.O**

**P.S. Very short chappie, really quick chappie, just to let you know what's **_**weawy**_** goin on. *sniffs randomly* Yes. Pwease enjoy short chappie of deviousness and mischeviousness. *blink***

Fang smiled. They were so _gullible_. It was hysterical. He covered his mouth to stop from laughing.

So they thought they could just play funny little pranks on Fang. Well, they were wrong, they were the ones being pranked. It also gave him good excuses to do funny to and with Max…

Thankfully Fang has lived with mind readers long enough to know how to cover up certain thoughts. That, would be why Edward was simply clueless.

Fang smiled once more.

Now to see what their next prank is…

He turned to his double agents. He raised his eyebrows, which meant they were to now inform him of what the next prank would be.

"Another one, to be performed at night." Began double agent number one. "They were planning for you to wake up and be covered in Joker cards, along with a Joker smile pasted to your face in make-up. Shall you inform them that you are aware of their being devious?"

"Most likely." Said Fang, nodding his head. "Well, we now begin _our_ planning."

He smiled for the third time today. That was odd.


	11. The Emo Druggie

We had drugged Fang once more. This kind of scared me.

He had been chasing me all around the house until I found a nice hiding place: In plain site.

I was currently hanging out in the kitchen with Ig, helping him with whatever he needed.

"Ig? What's – Whoa!" I had been attacked from behind by the Emo druggie. I screamed and attempted to run away. I was caught once more.

"Oh no ya don't Maxy!"

"EDWARD!" I shouted desperately… only to be answered with a grinning bronze haired vampire. I narrowed my eyes.

"Bye bye, Maxy." Edward said, waving goodbye.

"NO!" I shouted. Fang currently had me tucked under his arm as if I were a football. How? I don't know. But it was uncomfortable.

I was set on the couch. I once more tried to scramble away but was caught.

"No, no Maxy; you stay _here_." Fang said, grinning like an idiot. He then turned on the Television and was flipping through channels when he _squealed. Fang squealed._ I looked around to make sure I wasn't in a parallel dimension.

"Romeo and Juliet!" Fang shouted happily pointing at the television screen. I rolled my eyes, groaned, and threw my head back on the couch.

I was falling asleep, when I was poked in my side. I flinched. I was poked again. I flinched again. "Maxy, Maxy, wakey wakey sleepy-head!" My eyes fluttered open to dark eyes _right in front of me_. Fang then _giggled_. When were we pulling this prank?! I didn't need Fang drugged any more than once.

Fang was smiling, then he was abruptly serious (he was still drugged though).

He inclined his head toward my lips. "You're so beautiful…" He whispered. I was then kissed; just like last time. He pulled back. "You're a great leader…" He whispered. He kissed me again. "And I love you more than anything…" He kissed me passionately.

I knew I was blushing like an idiot because of what he said, even though I knew he was drugged; it was still weird. But it was… sweet.

I didn't know when he was planning on stopping so I was trying to push him off of me when he fell on me. I heard light snoring on my shoulder.

"Ugh!" I sighed, exasperated. Edward was next to me then, lifting Fang up easily. I followed him to Fang's bedroom and watched as he placed him lightly on his bed. He turned to me.

"Okay, time for the prank." He flashed a smile, and was gone. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room with slumped shoulders; I was freakin' tired.

A bit _later_ that night…

Tonight all we needed to do was put the camera in place again, shower Fang in Joker cards, then paint a Joker smile on his face.

"Okay, guys. Ready?" I said. I got various nods from the group. I double checked to make sure that Alice had all the equipment she needed for the make-up portion of the prank. She looked like she had everything. Ruby and Kimmy said they didn't want to help tonight, which was severely odd, but I just said whatever and moved on.

I looked to Edward who had the camera in hand, ready to place it in it's secret hiding spot.

"Let's go." I said and smiled.

We all very quietly made our way up the stairs and to Fang's bedroom door.

"And… cue Edward; go." I said He was gone, and then by my side again. "Alright," I let out a breath "Phase one complete, now for phase two. Let's go." We all were quietly sneaking in…

"Wait, you guys! I had a vision it –"Alice began but it was too late.

The light went on.

And there was Fang, standing in the corner next to the closet. I looked to the bed to see… that he stuffed the blankets with pillows. I narrowed my eyes.

"What are you doing up?" I asked him. He smiled; I wonder if the drugs had worn off. Then Edward drew in a breath abruptly. I looked to him to see that he was shaking his head at Fang.

"I should've known…" Edward mumbled.

"What?" I demanded. He didn't respond.

"I've known the _whole_ time what you guys were doing. In fact, it was my plan in the beginning: Watch movie, make my thoughts seem like I was scared of the Joker, Edward buys it, and the rest is _history_." Fang said, still smiling. My jaw dropped.

"So, you mean you not only knew what we were doing; you were the planning it?" I asked. He nodded.

"I had some brilliant insight." He said. Just then his closet door opened and Ruby and Kimmy came out. I gasped.

"_You two._" I spat. The whole thing was a scam from the beginning! And there were double agents involved! "How could you? Why are you on _his_ side?"

"Well, we never necessarily said we were on _your_ side." Kimmy said, using logic.

"Still; _why?_" I asked.

"Oh, Max; You must learn how to work these kinds of people." Fang said. "They surely love candy and Barnes&Noble gift cards; these two." He said, gesturing with his hand to Kimmy and Ruby.

"You were _bribed_?" I asked, my eyebrows raised. They both bobbed their heads happily.

"Oh, whatever." Edward said, then stalked out of the room.

Alice looked at the make-up in her hands. "What am I going to do with these…" She said and walked out of the room seeming pre-occupied.

"We're gonna' go eat that candy you paid us with…" Said Ruby, then her and Kimmy dashed out of the room. A few seconds later I heard noises that sounded a lot like Nerds falling all over the floor and wrappers being ripped apart.

I was about to stomp off angrily, but when I was just spinning on my heel to leave, I noticed something.

"So, Kimmy and Ruby didn't really give you drugs?" I asked. He shook his head, still smug. "You weren't really high?" I inquired.

He nodded. "Yup, that means," He began leaning towards me. "I knew you kissed me back that one night."

I was taken aback. I tried to come up with a come back, but things got serious suddenly. I stepped forward, till I was looking up at him in the eye.

"You meant what you said?" I asked. He knew what I was talking about: When he told me I had pretty eyes, when he told me I was beautiful. When he told me I was a great leader… when he told me he loved me more than anything…

He swallowed. He closed his eyes. He nodded slowly.

He opened his eyes and looked embarrassed. His fists were clenched, and he looked like he was about to walk away.

_I can't believe I'm gonna' do this…_

I took his hands in mine and intertwined our fingers. "Well, you know what I said when I was getting the chip out?" I whispered. He nodded slowly, seeming stunned. "I meant it too."

I then kissed him. He was astonished, I was astonished. But… in a _good _way.

After a while we broke apart.

"Well," he started "When I said more than _anything_, you know I meant _besides_ KFC, right?" I punched him playfully in the arm. He laughed.

He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big hug that I… happily returned. This was new….

Meanwhile…

"Hey, you guys?" Ruby asked, looking around the room with her mouth stuffed full of nerds. Everyone looked up from what they were doing. "Why did we pretend to drug Fang if we didn't need to? I mean vampires can make no sound right?"

Everyone was flabbergasted.

"Uh, yeah, I think you're… right." Edward said, not seeming to believe it himself. Alice and Jasper were wearing the same masks of confusion.

"Well, hey, I knew that I just didn't mention it." Said Kimmy, her mouth stuffed full with chocolate.

She was tackled to the ground by pillows.


End file.
